Mystery

I have always wondered, “is it me…. or “them”, but unfortunately, most people (read men) I meet, figure me dumb, silly, or plain stupid and the worst..shallow!! I mean yes I appear a little lost at times( okay most times) but hey I am doing my masters you know, and I have always managed to get over average grades( okay , average grades) and I have always managed to figure out which side of the bread is buttered!!!(And that, trust me is not easy). Now coming back to first impressions, let’s take the auto wala’s in the city. One look at me and they decide to give me a joy ride, the minute they figure out I have a brain and am not the kind they can flees(not that I have not been fleeced ) , they get upset , like it’s me who told them am an easy mark and I cheated them out of their money!!

Next lets take the shopkeepers..oh what a joy they seem to experience in trying to make a fast one over me ,which they wouldn’t do if it was anybody else!!! The minute they realize I am not falling for it..Sigh..Am in for the long sulky look (as if they r asking me “beta, y do u use ur brains” just listen and do as I say coz am a man and know better than you !! )

Well there used to be a time when this used to get to me..seriously, I mean..duh . but not anymore(evil smile) it is so easy to pull a fast one over these poor shopkeepers, auto wala’s, the random guy who is hitting on you, and yea even those close friends of urs (no they don’t fall for it always) with a silly smile and an innocent look which most buy even without me trying. And now that I have discovered this secret weapon( the sigh, a lost look and am oh! so helpless, please help me from the monsters of the world attitude ) life is a lot easier , I can even get a random stranger to cross across to help me cross the road…how cool is that??

But honestly, being an independent woman, there is only so much helplessness you can display, after a while its plain boring. The fact that I can take care of myself, the need to be taken seriously is in me. I wonder when people (read men) would realize, I give as much as I get (sometimes in the double) and that am not as dumb as I pretend!!!!

thoughts

The little disappointments in life are sometimes more heartbreaking than the bigger ones. When hopes are crushed I feel like there is no tomorrow. The desire to sink into a bottomless pit of despair is strong. To move on and to forget and forgive is indeed a hardship.

Does this show my lack of control over self and the, oh! So selfish nature I have? For if I can’t withstand a little set back in life, how will I ever overcome the bigger ones? Does this mean am ill equipped to face life and its bigger challenges? The thought that my life in the protected shell of love and warmth has not prepared me for the big bad world is quite frightening.

When will I grow up? Will I ever? Or will my life be but a series of heartbreaks that shall leave me shattered bruised ?.......