The one month in Times of India as an intern probably taught me more than the four monthChrist University as a student!! I am not saying that Christ ppl are not teaching us..oh no (they teach a lil too much if u as k me) wat am sayin us , TOI helped me getting to know Bangalore as a city....this is just the jist of wat i have learned

1. I am NOT cut out for JOURNALISM ...not because i cant write, or report or find stuff out.....its simply is
2. I panic if i think i am lost!! ...i totally flip if i am lost!!....but more often than not...i can find my way back...or to the place i am going to..but i still panic!!
3. The auto drivers here are major D**k heads..!! totally hate them..but they are a necessary evil
4. The bus conductors are nice..but if the conductor is a lady....as bad as the auto driver!!
5. The brigade road is the most interesting place to be on any time of the day..esp on weekend nights!!
6. I like to travel....even if it means i might get lost
7. I can be persuaded to dp an assignment over the phone if given the right incentive ...sue me!!
8. I love pears!!
9. the Governor is a nice old man..and his wife has flaming red hair!!
10. the food at TAJ is any day better than wat u get at the RAJBHAVAN...(and a journalist gets to go to all these places and more!!)

Mystery

I have always wondered, “is it me…. or “them”, but unfortunately, most people (read men) I meet, figure me dumb, silly, or plain stupid and the worst..shallow!! I mean yes I appear a little lost at times( okay most times) but hey I am doing my masters you know, and I have always managed to get over average grades( okay , average grades) and I have always managed to figure out which side of the bread is buttered!!!(And that, trust me is not easy). Now coming back to first impressions, let’s take the auto wala’s in the city. One look at me and they decide to give me a joy ride, the minute they figure out I have a brain and am not the kind they can flees(not that I have not been fleeced ) , they get upset , like it’s me who told them am an easy mark and I cheated them out of their money!!

Next lets take the shopkeepers..oh what a joy they seem to experience in trying to make a fast one over me ,which they wouldn’t do if it was anybody else!!! The minute they realize I am not falling for it..Sigh..Am in for the long sulky look (as if they r asking me “beta, y do u use ur brains” just listen and do as I say coz am a man and know better than you !! )

Well there used to be a time when this used to get to me..seriously, I mean..duh . but not anymore(evil smile) it is so easy to pull a fast one over these poor shopkeepers, auto wala’s, the random guy who is hitting on you, and yea even those close friends of urs (no they don’t fall for it always) with a silly smile and an innocent look which most buy even without me trying. And now that I have discovered this secret weapon( the sigh, a lost look and am oh! so helpless, please help me from the monsters of the world attitude ) life is a lot easier , I can even get a random stranger to cross across to help me cross the road…how cool is that??

But honestly, being an independent woman, there is only so much helplessness you can display, after a while its plain boring. The fact that I can take care of myself, the need to be taken seriously is in me. I wonder when people (read men) would realize, I give as much as I get (sometimes in the double) and that am not as dumb as I pretend!!!!

thoughts

The little disappointments in life are sometimes more heartbreaking than the bigger ones. When hopes are crushed I feel like there is no tomorrow. The desire to sink into a bottomless pit of despair is strong. To move on and to forget and forgive is indeed a hardship.

Does this show my lack of control over self and the, oh! So selfish nature I have? For if I can’t withstand a little set back in life, how will I ever overcome the bigger ones? Does this mean am ill equipped to face life and its bigger challenges? The thought that my life in the protected shell of love and warmth has not prepared me for the big bad world is quite frightening.

When will I grow up? Will I ever? Or will my life be but a series of heartbreaks that shall leave me shattered bruised ?.......

The first time you do something is always special, it may not be the best experience, but it will definitely remain in your heart for its the first time you did it

I remember the first day in school; I remember the rain, my new umbrella and the kind someone who walked me to my new class

The first big fight I had with my first best friend ever..it was over an eraser

My first dog..he was too naughty for my young mother to handle(my dog and me combined that is )

The time I thought my mom forgot me (I was in a big barrel of rain water enjoying myself but couldnt see my mom ) and that was not very pleasant I can tell you

The first time I saw my little sister and held her in my arm..perhaps the sweetest of my memories..she was so small and pink and cuddly .

The first time on a bicycle..the wind on my face. The triumphant feeling that i could ride on my own..

Dad trying to put me to sleep(around 3 yrs old) and I do remember walking away after I return the favor!!!...

Climbing trees..

Jumping walls (ooh ..mmmm..)

First bee sting (ooww)

First time I got caught for readin a novel during study time (mom was so mad at me ...)

The first crush…

First time in fornt of the wheels

First time behind a bike

the first drink

the countless first times I have had …..

we all have

makes me wonder …whats next, whats new, whats the next thrilling and new experience

life have in store for me ?

for this quest that keeps me going on those days that life seems too boring

those days when you feel you are missing out on

the memoreis of those first times .. even those second or third ones..

of fun , love and happiness......

J

Hope

To know that one has nothing more to hope for is quite disheartening in fact I will go so far as to say that the desire to do better too might die out. Then again a person with sense will realize that hope never dies. It lives on no matter how hard. A little knock and the subsequent fall do not mean that it is the end. The initial shock of the extinguished hope might be hard but then again it’s better to know the truth than to wonder and hope about what might be and what might not be!! If what might be or might not be does not coincide with what one wants it to be then the hope in self might die down. If one looks at the bigger picture it is better for the hope to die and then move on, for life, if nothing else is all about new beginnings. J

there are those days when i wake up early....rare as they are, i cherish them...

i like those days when i have the time to laze about in the bed , jus a lil awake yet a lil asleep. trying to catch the remains of that sweet dream....

looking out the window, i see the sky playing peek a boo with the leaves of the coconut trees, my sleepy eyes see diamonds shining through....

jus to lie in bed..and listen ....simply listen to others wake around you!!

those morning sounds ....i miss coz i am last up on a normal day

...

its sad that i dont wake up early more often....

then again...

could be i enjoy these precious mornings more coz of the rarity of it..

those slow days

there are those days when the time seems to stop and you are simply existing like in a limbo. though you see people around you, active and creative. the urge to simply be and not be a part is so strong that though slow a day the end is closer than you thought. yet life around is more interesting to observe when one is not participating. in the group yet apart .to observe . to know that you r simply watching and not participating. for to participate would mean that the haze be removed. a haze which is to be enjoyed ?.....